Chris Henson Rants
-
I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING IT OVER THIS BABY OIL COVERAGE!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I swear my NEWS FEED has been HIJACKED by MORE MOISTURIZER ARTICLES THAN THERE ARE POTHOLES ON HIGHWAY 31!!! I just wanted to read about P. DIDDY’S CASE!!! THE ACTUAL CHARGES!!! SEX TRAFFICKING, RACKETEERING CONSPIRACY, AND SERIOUS CRIMINAL Read more
-
OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!! First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m Read more
-
Chill n’Fill Chronicles: The Night of the Little Car Thief, The Local Ranting Man & Officers Looking My Friday night shift at Chill n’Fill was officially entering the twilight zone. The one-eyed polar bear sign outside flickered rhythmically, as if winking at the parade of weirdness that was about to unfold. Bob’s “rebranding” of Read more
-
WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!! Has anyone else noticed Read more
-
WHY ARE THESE SELF-PROCLAIMED “HUSTLERS” SPENDING MORE TIME CREATING INSPIRATIONAL INSTAGRAM GRAPHICS THAN ACTUALLY MAKING ANY MONEY?!?!? 💸💸💸 Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE ENTREPRENEURIAL MELTDOWN over these KEYBOARD MOGULS who talk about “GRINDING” and “HUSTLING” while their only actual business is SELLING THE DREAM OF HUSTLING!!! Has anyone else Read more
-
WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TYPING LIKE THEIR KEYBOARD IS HAVING AN ACTUAL SEIZURE?!?!? 👆👆👆 Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over these ALPHABET ASSASSINS who communicate like they’re being CHARGED BY THE LETTER or writing with their ELBOWS!!! Have y’all noticed how some people text like they’re ACTIVELY RUNNING Read more
TumbleDweeeb 