TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Comedy

  • The Fuzzy Headed X’s

    The Fuzzy-Headed X’sBy: Emmitt Owens[A Whimsy Poem Inspired by my own ADHD](Index #12022025) In the Land-of-Wait-What-Was-I-Doing-Again,Lived a Fuzzy-Head X (they’ve forgotten since when).Each morning they wake with their goals burning bright:“Today I’ll stay focused! I’ll get it all right!” They’ll start buttering toast—but the toaster looks dusty—so, they search for a cloth—but the cloth is Read more

  • The Whimsy States of AmeriKKKa

    The Whimsy States of AmeriKKKa A satirical political commentary exposing modern American contradictions through absurdist humor and social critique.By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01252026) 🎪Welcome to the Whimsy States of AmeriKKKa✨Where the rules are made up and consistency is a hate crime. In the Whimsy States:— Teen brings AR-15 to protest, shoots two people🎉 “Self-defense! Give him Read more

  • The Glorious Glitchbbrains of Who-Did-I-Do

    The Glorious Glitchbbrains of Who-Did-I-Do?By: Emmitt Owens(Index #12062025) In the kingdom of Blameless-Beloo,live the Glorious Glitchbbrains of Who-Did-I-Do?They twirl through their stories with confident skips,while dropping their memories like popcorn and chips. They once swapped a heart for a moment of thrill —with a stranger whose name they misplaced on a sill.“Oh fiddlesticks!  Who WAS Read more

  • Pong

    PongA Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness Rhyme This is a poem/song about my inherited 70s culture through my father.By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01062026) [Verse 1]I woke up in a laundromat of thoughts, quarters arguingDryers gossip in Morse code, socks filing grievancesI sip a cup of yesterday’s rain with paper umbrellasWhile the sun clocks in late, wearing Read more

  • The Me-Me-Me Monsters

    The Me-Me-Me MonstersBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12042025) In a town near the Valley of Didn’t-You-Know,Lived folks who were stars of their own one-man shows.They’d puff up their chests with a me-me-me boom,Till they sucked every ounce of attention in rooms. They’d never ask questions like “How was your day?”For that would mean listening — what? No Read more

  • The Ballad of the Perfect Potato

    The Ballad of the Perfect PotatoExistential/Psychological/Systems HorrorBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12272025) Look at my spud, so pristine and so round,Perfectly shaped, not a blemish or brown,Grows exactly on schedule, never strays from the row,But ask what it dreams of? Man, I just don’t know. See, I had a vision, a masterful plan,Gonna cultivate me the world’s Read more

  • The Trilogy Part II: Seen

    The Trilogy Part II: “SEEN”Part II of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness Rhyme. (A character study of emotional immaturity)By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01042026) [Verse 1]Texted this bitch Tuesday, she ain’t answer ’til Friday night“Sorry, been so busy”—nah, you just ain’t think I’m rightFor your stuck-up Read more

  • Me vs. Me: The Scroll

    Me vs. Me: The ScrollBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01052026)    The blue glow painted my face as I scrolled through another profile. Single. The word sat there like an invitation I couldn’t accept, couldn’t ignore, couldn’t do anything with except stare at it until my eyes burned.     My thumb hovered over the message button, frozen in Read more

  • The Trilogy Part I: Red Flags, Red Lights

    Red Flags, Red LightsPart I of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01042026) [Verse 1]I said “maybe lunch” like a shrug with a smileShe heard “future plans,” heard “pressure,” heard “trial”I got more free time than a retired clockEven my hustle hit Read more

  • Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)

    Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy:Emmitt Owens(Index #01032026) [Verse 1]In the age of alarm clocks, I missed the cueHit snooze on myself, let the weird come throughStatic in my bloodstream, dial-up soulTryna download peace on a cracked flip phone Pajama-pants swagger, Jordans feel newSlingin’ spaghetti out the window of my confused Read more