TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Comedy

  • Mad Mechanics: A Buzzard Roost Thanksgiving

    Mad Mechanics: Gobble ‘Til You WobbleWritten by: Emmitt OwensAs narrated by: WaylonEpisode: #17(Index# 11252025) Mad Mechanics —Holiday Special Episode: Gobble ’Til You WobbleA Buzzard Roost Thanksgiving Catastrophe Waylon, Intro: “If you’ve never spent Thanksgiving in Buzzard Roost, Alabama, let me save you the trouble of pretending it’s normal. Other towns got quiet prayers over polite Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: The Forbidden Fruit (Genesis 3)

    They had paradise with one rule. A creature that could talk—but hadn’t learned to crawl yet—convinced them otherwise. Three beings present, zero accountability taken. God said ‘you’ll die.’ They lived 900 years. The serpent’s words came true literally. Genesis never calls it Satan. Maybe we’ve been reading this story wrong. 🐍🍎 Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Creation & The Making of Adam (Genesis 1-2)

    “In the beginning, there was nothing. Just God. Then He said ‘Let there be light’—and there was light. No sun yet (that comes later, don’t think about it too hard). From dirt and divine breath came humanity. Everything was ‘very good’—no death, no pain, no shame. Just paradise, purpose, and one simple rule. 🌍✨” Read more

  • Chill n’Fill: Book 3, Episode 4

    Chill n’FillBook 3: Episode 4Dating Disasters and Hard-Won WisdomWritten by: Emmitt Owens(Index #07222025)    Friday night at the Chill n’Fill buzzed with the usual weekend split—half the crowd revved up for adventure, the other half limping in like survivors of labor forced workweek. I was halfway through cramming neon cans of energy drinks into the Read more

  • The Signal in the Static

    The Signal in the StaticBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #09122025) Oh, look what crawled through the ethernet cables today—your little transmission—blinking at me like a confused lighthouse that’s forgotten which way the shore is supposed to be. And here I am, cosmic radio operator extraordinaire, having to tune into your particular brand of “scrambled frequency” because apparently Read more

  • Tuesday in My Brain

    Tuesday in My BrainFor My Grandchildren: Silas, Elijah & Theo(Index # 09112025) In the town of the teapots I painted a shoe,With pickles for buttons and some glittery glue.I danced with a doorknob, I sang to a chair,I juggled three penguins while brushing my hair.Pull the moon backward and tie it with shoestrings,With a bubblegum Read more

  • The Broken Toenail Catastrophe

    The Broken Toenail Catastrophe*As told by Gary*By: Emmitt Owens(Index #08082025)    Let me start by saying that what happened at Orange Beach last Tuesday was not my fault. Well, okay, it was technically my fault, but hear me out—any reasonable person would have made the same decisions I made, given the circumstances. The fact that Read more

  • The Great Ice Cream Catastrophe

    The Great Ice Cream CatastropheWritten by: Emmitt Owens(Index #12062023)    Marla clutched her triple-scoop rocky road cone like a trophy as she settled onto the park bench, her beautiful white sundress fanning out around her. The afternoon sun beat down mercilessly, turning the asphalt into glistening waves of heat, but she was determined to enjoy Read more

  • Marty’s Quikmart: Episode 1

    Episode 1: The Tube Socks, the Pipe, and the Snickers Thief The late afternoon lull at Marty’s Quickmart always gives me a false sense of security. It’s that deceptive hour between the lunch rush and evening commuters when I think I might actually get to restock the shelves in peace. I should know better by Read more