TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Essays

  • I’d… Backup Plan: Full Mission

    I’d… Backup Plan: Full MissionBackup Plans — The Real KindBy: Emmitt Owens(Index: #02232026)      Let’s talk about backup plans, because a lot of asshats out there have their whole system thought out. “I’ll keep him/her around if this doesn’t work out.” That’s asshat ideology. It’s selfish, it’s cowardly, and it guarantees you’ll never fully show… Read more

  • THE GREAT FACEBOOK ROAST OF FEBRUARY 2025

    In February 2025, a Facebook comment section erupted into chaos over a political cartoon, featuring Emmitt Owens and Seth Cochrane. The exchange devolved from political discourse to a comedic roast, showcasing humorous insults, personal revelations, and social dynamics. Ultimately, Emmitt triumphed, aided by insightful commentary from bystanders, including Mykle Eaton and Jenna Thompson. Read more

  • The Trilogy Ending Essay: Craft and Consequence: The Ethics of Writing What You’re Not

    “On Craft and Consequence: The Ethics of Writing What You’re Not”An Essay on the Trilogy: Red Flags, Red Lights / SEEN / ExhaleBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01042026) I. Why These Three Pieces Exist Together I didn’t set out to write a trilogy. I set out to process a moment of confusion—a miscommunication so minor it barely… Read more

  • A Tuesday Poem

    A Tuesday PoemBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12302025) Tuesday weighs heavy like wet wool, this day that pretendsto be productive but really just slouches between the bookends—and I’m thinking about how we’ve built this elaborate theaterwhere everyone’s both audience and performer and no onecan remember their lines but we all keep showing up anyway,swiping left on our… Read more

  • A Darkly Humorous Piece About: Opting Out of Relationships – Episode 5

    The Opt-OutEpisode 5By: Emmitt Owens (Index #12292026) “Tolerance for not knowing is the quiet skill modern relationships no longer teach. It’s the ability to sit inside uncertainty without immediately labeling it, fixing it, or defending against it. It’s trusting that meaning can emerge over time instead of demanding clarity on demand. Relationships don’t unfold through certainty—they… Read more

  • The Bug, I Didn’t Remove

    The Bug I Didn’t RemoveA Whimsy-Whirly, Topsy-Turvy, Tale of Delightful NonsenseBy: Emmitt Owens In two-thousand-seventeen, so the story goes,Everyone was keeping score with their…fingers and toes! Of a game nobody wanted, a game with no rules—I said, “I won’t play!” and they thought “he’s a fool”. Ten years before that (or was it eleven?)I found… Read more

  • A Poem Disguised as a Rant Disguised as an Essay Disguised as a Tuesday.

    Tuesday feels like everyone’s got a checklistof thingsthat shouldn’t bother thembut doHoward wrote three posts this weekabout baseball caps facing backwardThree separate postsSame capSame complaint.Same energy of a man who says“I just keep scrolling”while absolutely…not keeping scrollingInstead…He stopsHe has to post about itHe has to post about howthe plastic strap bothers himThat little adjustable piecestretched… Read more

  • Signs the Devil Holds: Volume VI (1990-2000)

    SIGNS THE DEVIL HOLDS: 1990-2000A Documentary History of American Moral PanicBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #11112025 – 11222025) ───────────────────────────────LEGAL & FAIR USE STATEMENT───────────────────────────────   This book is a work of documentary history and cultural commentary.   It incorporates short quotations from publicly available materials for purposes of analysis, education, and historical discussion under the Fair Use provisions of U.S.… Read more

  • Signs the Devil Holds: Volume V (1970 to 1990)

    SIGNS THE DEVIL HOLDS: 1970-1990A Documentary History of American Moral PanicBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #11062025 – 11102025) ─────────────────────────────── LEGAL & FAIR USE STATEMENT ───────────────────────────────     This book is a work of documentary history and cultural commentary.    It incorporates short quotations from publicly available materials for purposes of analysis, education, and historical discussion under the Fair Use provisions of… Read more

  • Signs the Devil Holds: Volume IV (1950 to 1970)

    SIGNS THE DEVIL HOLDS: Volume IV (1950-1970)A Documentary History of American Moral PanicBy: Emmitt Owen(Index #11032025 – 11062025) ─────────────────────────────── LEGAL & FAIR USE STATEMENT ───────────────────────────────     This book is a work of documentary history and cultural commentary.    It incorporates short quotations from publicly available materials for purposes of analysis, education, and historical discussion under the Fair Use… Read more