TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Poems

  • The Ballad of the Perfect Potato

    The Ballad of the Perfect PotatoExistential/Psychological/Systems HorrorBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12272025) Look at my spud, so pristine and so round,Perfectly shaped, not a blemish or brown,Grows exactly on schedule, never strays from the row,But ask what it dreams of? Man, I just don’t know. See, I had a vision, a masterful plan,Gonna cultivate me the world’s… Read more

  • The Trilogy Part III: Exhale

    “Exhale”Part III of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.The Truth Behind The InkBy: Emmitt Owens (Index #01042026) [Verse 1]You know, I didn’t write “SEEN” ’cause I lived it—that ain’t me,I wrote it ’cause I witnessed what unchecked pain can be,Dudes who turn rejection into Reddit threads and spite,So I sketched that… Read more

  • The Trilogy Part II: Seen

    The Trilogy Part II: “SEEN”Part II of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness Rhyme. (A character study of emotional immaturity)By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01042026) [Verse 1]Texted this bitch Tuesday, she ain’t answer ’til Friday night“Sorry, been so busy”—nah, you just ain’t think I’m rightFor your stuck-up… Read more

  • The Trilogy Part I: Red Flags, Red Lights

    Red Flags, Red LightsPart I of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01042026) [Verse 1]I said “maybe lunch” like a shrug with a smileShe heard “future plans,” heard “pressure,” heard “trial”I got more free time than a retired clockEven my hustle hit… Read more

  • Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)

    Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy:Emmitt Owens(Index #01032026) [Verse 1]In the age of alarm clocks, I missed the cueHit snooze on myself, let the weird come throughStatic in my bloodstream, dial-up soulTryna download peace on a cracked flip phone Pajama-pants swagger, Jordans feel newSlingin’ spaghetti out the window of my confused… Read more

  • Low-Rent Majestic

    Low-Rent MajesticA Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01022026) [Hook]I don’t need approval, I need better decisions My conscience got evicted for unpaid supervision I wake up like “damn, still me?”—that’s persistence Every bad idea got my full cooperation  No halo, no villain arc, just friction Too weird for the normies, too broken for tradition If this goes… Read more

  • Parenting 101

    Parenting 101A Stream of Conscience, Comedic, Multisyllable RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01012026) IntroAlright—hold up…Sound check crackling like my last relationship.Fair warning upfront: This gets weird if you’re sober or expecting common sense. Verse 1I’m infectious with sentences, diction got pestilence,If you clap back, pack proof and some penicillin in.I overcook metaphors, choke jokes twice,Trip over punchlines,… Read more

  • Rest in Peace: 2025

    R.I.P. 2025 By: Emmitt Owens (Index #12302025-8:07am) Diddy’s baby oil stash went from bathroom accessory to courtroom exhibit, and the whole internet got LUBED, MOISTURIZED, AND SIDE-EYEING EVERY SHINE Suddenly nobody trusted a glow, a gloss, or a man with “good skin.” Taylor Swift got engaged to Travis Kelce and that announcement PENETRATED DEEP—timelines expanded,… Read more

  • A Tuesday Poem

    A Tuesday PoemBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12302025) Tuesday weighs heavy like wet wool, this day that pretendsto be productive but really just slouches between the bookends—and I’m thinking about how we’ve built this elaborate theaterwhere everyone’s both audience and performer and no onecan remember their lines but we all keep showing up anyway,swiping left on our… Read more

  • The Bug, I Didn’t Remove

    The Bug I Didn’t RemoveA Whimsy-Whirly, Topsy-Turvy, Tale of Delightful NonsenseBy: Emmitt Owens In two-thousand-seventeen, so the story goes,Everyone was keeping score with their…fingers and toes! Of a game nobody wanted, a game with no rules—I said, “I won’t play!” and they thought “he’s a fool”. Ten years before that (or was it eleven?)I found… Read more