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Emmitt Owens

  • Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)

    Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy:Emmitt Owens(Index #01032026) [Verse 1]In the age of alarm clocks, I missed the cueHit snooze on myself, let the weird come throughStatic in my bloodstream, dial-up soulTryna download peace on a cracked flip phone Pajama-pants swagger, Jordans feel newSlingin’ spaghetti out the window of my confused Read more

  • Low-Rent Majestic

    Low-Rent MajesticA Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01022026) [Hook]I don’t need approval, I need better decisions My conscience got evicted for unpaid supervision I wake up like “damn, still me?”—that’s persistence Every bad idea got my full cooperation  No halo, no villain arc, just friction Too weird for the normies, too broken for tradition If this goes Read more

  • Parenting 101

    Parenting 101A Stream of Conscience, Comedic, Multisyllable RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01012026) IntroAlright—hold up…Sound check crackling like my last relationship.Fair warning upfront: This gets weird if you’re sober or expecting common sense. Verse 1I’m infectious with sentences, diction got pestilence,If you clap back, pack proof and some penicillin in.I overcook metaphors, choke jokes twice,Trip over punchlines, Read more

  • B-12: A Love Vitamin

    B-12: A Love NumberBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12312025)    Look, I’m fifty-four, and I’ll tell you right now: the house didn’t echo when my youngest daughter drove off to college. It just got quiet. The kind of quiet you’ve been waiting thirty-four years for, even if you didn’t know it. The last of the kids to Read more

  • Rest in Peace: 2025

    R.I.P. 2025 By: Emmitt Owens (Index #12302025-8:07am) Diddy’s baby oil stash went from bathroom accessory to courtroom exhibit, and the whole internet got LUBED, MOISTURIZED, AND SIDE-EYEING EVERY SHINE Suddenly nobody trusted a glow, a gloss, or a man with “good skin.” Taylor Swift got engaged to Travis Kelce and that announcement PENETRATED DEEP—timelines expanded, Read more

  • A Tuesday Poem

    A Tuesday PoemBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12302025) Tuesday weighs heavy like wet wool, this day that pretendsto be productive but really just slouches between the bookends—and I’m thinking about how we’ve built this elaborate theaterwhere everyone’s both audience and performer and no onecan remember their lines but we all keep showing up anyway,swiping left on our Read more

  • A Darkly Humorous Piece About: Opting Out of Relationships – Episode 5

    The Opt-OutEpisode 5By: Emmitt Owens (Index #12292026) “Tolerance for not knowing is the quiet skill modern relationships no longer teach. It’s the ability to sit inside uncertainty without immediately labeling it, fixing it, or defending against it. It’s trusting that meaning can emerge over time instead of demanding clarity on demand. Relationships don’t unfold through certainty—they Read more

  • The Physics of Sleeping With You

    The Physics of Sleeping With YouBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12012025)    Every night, the same accusation flies across the mattress like a thrown pillow.     “You’re doing it again,” Marina says, her voice carrying through the darkness.   I open one eye. I am currently occupying approximately seven inches of mattress space—what Marina has taken to calling “The Read more

  • Across an Ocean, Across Generations: From East Prussia to Wisconsin

    ✦ ✦ ✦ The Melang Family From the Shores of East Prussia to the Heartland of Wisconsin ⸻ A Chronicle of Faith, Courage, and Family ⸻ Compiled from the 1942 manuscript“My Mother’s Story as She Told It to Me”by Edna Blank Carbeille Enhanced with historical records, family testimony, and descendant research ✦ ✦ ✦ Dedicated Read more

  • The Bug, I Didn’t Remove

    The Bug I Didn’t RemoveA Whimsy-Whirly, Topsy-Turvy, Tale of Delightful NonsenseBy: Emmitt Owens In two-thousand-seventeen, so the story goes,Everyone was keeping score with their…fingers and toes! Of a game nobody wanted, a game with no rules—I said, “I won’t play!” and they thought “he’s a fool”. Ten years before that (or was it eleven?)I found Read more