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Emmitt Owens

absurdist

  • Transmitter from the Shitter

    Transmitter from the ShitterA tale outta Churntown, Alabama I. The Man, The Myth, The Outhouse   Now Rusty Eaton had wrote him four hundred and twelve songs, and he knowed it exact, on account of he numbered every last one in Sharpie marker on the inside of the outhouse door, right up next to his cousin… Read more

  • The Broken Toenail Catastrophe

    The Broken Toenail Catastrophe*As told by Gary*By: Emmitt Owens(Index #08082025)    Let me start by saying that what happened at Orange Beach last Tuesday was not my fault. Well, okay, it was technically my fault, but hear me out—any reasonable person would have made the same decisions I made, given the circumstances. The fact that… Read more