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Emmitt Owens

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  • The Trilogy Part III: Exhale

    “Exhale”Part III of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.The Truth Behind The InkBy: Emmitt Owens (Index #01042026) [Verse 1]You know, I didn’t write “SEEN” ’cause I lived it—that ain’t me,I wrote it ’cause I witnessed what unchecked pain can be,Dudes who turn rejection into Reddit threads and spite,So I sketched that Read more

  • Parenting 101

    Parenting 101A Stream of Conscience, Comedic, Multisyllable RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01012026) IntroAlright—hold up…Sound check crackling like my last relationship.Fair warning upfront: This gets weird if you’re sober or expecting common sense. Verse 1I’m infectious with sentences, diction got pestilence,If you clap back, pack proof and some penicillin in.I overcook metaphors, choke jokes twice,Trip over punchlines, Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #63 ‘I Don’t Know’

          WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!!   Has anyone else noticed Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #35 Poor Grammer

          WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TYPING LIKE THEIR KEYBOARD IS HAVING AN ACTUAL SEIZURE?!?!? 👆👆👆 Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over these ALPHABET ASSASSINS who communicate like they’re being CHARGED BY THE LETTER or writing with their ELBOWS!!!   Have y’all noticed how some people text like they’re ACTIVELY RUNNING Read more