TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Blunt Bible

  • The Blunt Bible: The Tower of Babel (Genesis 11: 1-9)

    THE TOWER OF BABEL (Genesis 11:1-9)The Blunt Bible EditionBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #10192025) —– ✍️ Author’s Note:   When I was 14, I experienced what linguistic confusion actually feels like.   I walked into a church service where suddenly—within minutes—half the room was speaking languages I couldn’t understand. Overlapping. Loud. Intense.   And I sat there, frozen, completely disoriented.   Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Noah’s Ark (Genesis 6-9)

    Did you catch that? ‘And with your seed after you.’ God’s covenant wasn’t just with Noah. It was with his descendants. As a child I was told it was for all mankind, never realizing: After the Flood, only eight people survived. Noah, his wife, Shem, Ham, Japheth, and their three wives. That’s it. Eight people.… Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Two Family Trees (Genesis 4:17-26)

    I was writing about Cain’s wife when I had this wild realization: If you actually read Genesis 1, God already told us there were other humans—”Male and female created HE THEM” (plural). Then Genesis 2 zooms in on Adam and Eve specifically in the Garden of Eden. So when Cain leaves and “knows his wife”… Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Cain & Abel (Genesis 4:1-16)

    CAIN & ABEL (Genesis 4:1-16)The Blunt Bible EditionBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #10142025) —– ✍️ Author’s Note:   I almost didn’t write this one.   My original plan was to skip the full story and just give you the morals and the “Why This Matters” section. Move on quickly. Because Genesis 4 doesn’t work with the Blunt Bible format Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: The Forbidden Fruit (Genesis 3)

    They had paradise with one rule. A creature that could talk—but hadn’t learned to crawl yet—convinced them otherwise. Three beings present, zero accountability taken. God said ‘you’ll die.’ They lived 900 years. The serpent’s words came true literally. Genesis never calls it Satan. Maybe we’ve been reading this story wrong. 🐍🍎 Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Creation & The Making of Adam (Genesis 1-2)

    “In the beginning, there was nothing. Just God. Then He said ‘Let there be light’—and there was light. No sun yet (that comes later, don’t think about it too hard). From dirt and divine breath came humanity. Everything was ‘very good’—no death, no pain, no shame. Just paradise, purpose, and one simple rule. 🌍✨” Read more