EmittOwens
-
Most people would have let the first name slip go. I let it file itself away instead and three hours later, a birthday post, a friends list, and one last name she never mentioned cracked the whole thing open. Read more
-
In February 2025, a Facebook comment section erupted into chaos over a political cartoon, featuring Emmitt Owens and Seth Cochrane. The exchange devolved from political discourse to a comedic roast, showcasing humorous insults, personal revelations, and social dynamics. Ultimately, Emmitt triumphed, aided by insightful commentary from bystanders, including Mykle Eaton and Jenna Thompson. Read more
-
Growth: How We Turned Forever into Something BetterBy Emmitt Owens(2480 Roasting Words of Celebration, 29 Years After the Marriage… the 17th Year of Divorce.) Index #0213226 Seesha,I love that we could orchestrate this whole roast week together – celebrating what would’ve been our 29th wedding anniversary and our 17th year of divorce at the same… Read more
-
The Fuzzy-Headed X’sBy: Emmitt Owens[A Whimsy Poem Inspired by my own ADHD](Index #12022025) In the Land-of-Wait-What-Was-I-Doing-Again,Lived a Fuzzy-Head X (they’ve forgotten since when).Each morning they wake with their goals burning bright:“Today I’ll stay focused! I’ll get it all right!” They’ll start buttering toast—but the toaster looks dusty—so, they search for a cloth—but the cloth is… Read more
-
The Whimsy States of AmeriKKKa A satirical political commentary exposing modern American contradictions through absurdist humor and social critique.By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01252026) 🎪Welcome to the Whimsy States of AmeriKKKa✨Where the rules are made up and consistency is a hate crime. In the Whimsy States:— Teen brings AR-15 to protest, shoots two people🎉 “Self-defense! Give him… Read more
-
Chill n’FillEpisode: The Space Between Wanting and TakingWritten by: Emmitt Owens(Index #01152026) Authors Preliminary Notes: This episode is emotionally dense. This episode is a keystone—it defines what “healthy” looks like in this universe. Future episodes will bounce off it. The thing about midnight is that it doesn’t lie. Whatever you bring through those doors… Read more
-
The Glorious Glitchbbrains of Who-Did-I-Do?By: Emmitt Owens(Index #12062025) In the kingdom of Blameless-Beloo,live the Glorious Glitchbbrains of Who-Did-I-Do?They twirl through their stories with confident skips,while dropping their memories like popcorn and chips. They once swapped a heart for a moment of thrill —with a stranger whose name they misplaced on a sill.“Oh fiddlesticks! Who WAS… Read more
-
PongA Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness Rhyme This is a poem/song about my inherited 70s culture through my father.By: Emmitt Owens(Index #01062026) [Verse 1]I woke up in a laundromat of thoughts, quarters arguingDryers gossip in Morse code, socks filing grievancesI sip a cup of yesterday’s rain with paper umbrellasWhile the sun clocks in late, wearing… Read more
-
The Me-Me-Me MonstersBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12042025) In a town near the Valley of Didn’t-You-Know,Lived folks who were stars of their own one-man shows.They’d puff up their chests with a me-me-me boom,Till they sucked every ounce of attention in rooms. They’d never ask questions like “How was your day?”For that would mean listening — what? No… Read more
-
The Ballad of the Perfect PotatoExistential/Psychological/Systems HorrorBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #12272025) Look at my spud, so pristine and so round,Perfectly shaped, not a blemish or brown,Grows exactly on schedule, never strays from the row,But ask what it dreams of? Man, I just don’t know. See, I had a vision, a masterful plan,Gonna cultivate me the world’s… Read more
TumbleDweeeb 