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Emmitt Owens

EmmittOwens

  • The Blunt Bible: Two Family Trees (Genesis 4:17-26)

    I was writing about Cain’s wife when I had this wild realization: If you actually read Genesis 1, God already told us there were other humans—”Male and female created HE THEM” (plural). Then Genesis 2 zooms in on Adam and Eve specifically in the Garden of Eden. So when Cain leaves and “knows his wife”… Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Cain & Abel (Genesis 4:1-16)

    CAIN & ABEL (Genesis 4:1-16)The Blunt Bible EditionBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #10142025) —– ✍️ Author’s Note:   I almost didn’t write this one.   My original plan was to skip the full story and just give you the morals and the “Why This Matters” section. Move on quickly. Because Genesis 4 doesn’t work with the Blunt Bible format… Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: The Forbidden Fruit (Genesis 3)

    They had paradise with one rule. A creature that could talk—but hadn’t learned to crawl yet—convinced them otherwise. Three beings present, zero accountability taken. God said ‘you’ll die.’ They lived 900 years. The serpent’s words came true literally. Genesis never calls it Satan. Maybe we’ve been reading this story wrong. 🐍🍎 Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Creation & The Making of Adam (Genesis 1-2)

    “In the beginning, there was nothing. Just God. Then He said ‘Let there be light’—and there was light. No sun yet (that comes later, don’t think about it too hard). From dirt and divine breath came humanity. Everything was ‘very good’—no death, no pain, no shame. Just paradise, purpose, and one simple rule. 🌍✨” Read more

  • The Double Move: How Halloween’s Date Traveled from May to November

    The Double Move: How Halloween’s Date Traveled from May to November By: Emmitt Owens(Index #09112025-10102025) Unraveling a Universal Human Pattern Most people know that Halloween falls on October 31st—the night before All Saints’ Day. But few realize that the Christian feast now celebrated on November 1st began its liturgical life on a completely different date:… Read more

  • The Broken Toenail Catastrophe

    The Broken Toenail Catastrophe*As told by Gary*By: Emmitt Owens(Index #08082025)    Let me start by saying that what happened at Orange Beach last Tuesday was not my fault. Well, okay, it was technically my fault, but hear me out—any reasonable person would have made the same decisions I made, given the circumstances. The fact that… Read more

  • Chill’n’Fill – Book 3: Episode 2

    Chill’n’FillBook 3: Episode 2Presence, Worth, and the Heart of SuccessWritten by: Emmitt Owens    Tuesday night at Chill n’Fill was settling into its familiar rhythm when I looked up from restocking the candy display to see our one-eyed polar bear mascot in its latest incarnation. Bob had outdone himself this time—the bear now sported what… Read more

  • The Art of Friendship-First Romance

    This was a word prompt from a week ago… posting today thinking that I had posted it long ago. The modern dating landscape often feels like a high-stakes audition where everyone performs their most polished version of themselves. Swipe right, craft the perfect text, plan elaborate first dates—all while desperately trying to determine if this… Read more

  • The Weight of Being

    In the glow of hospital lights,I counted the seconds between her breaths.My thumb kept tracing small circles on her palm,like if I memorize every line,every soft curve,it might keep her here just a little longer. 10 years.That’s how long we spent building a life together,hands steady, day by day. The coffee in my cup kept… Read more

  • Mad Mechanics: The Mater Weed Machine

    Mad Mechanics: The Mater Weed MachineWritten by: Emmitt Owens*As narrated by Waylon*Episode 7 Waylon, Intro: “Well now, folks, let me tell you about the day the boys at Mad Mechanics decided to help Gutglor turn his beat-up Chevy S10 into what he proudly called the “Mater Weed Machine” – a contraption so ridiculous it defied… Read more