TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Funny

  • Marty’s Quikmart Episode 4

    Bunnies, Bad Milk, and Burnt Botanicals   I arrived for my Tuesday shift at Marty’s Quickmart to find pure chaos—Bob, the owner for the past decade, was dangling from a safety harness, wrestling with a neon sign while a contractor watched nervously below. Aerosmith’s “Livin’ on the Edge” blasted from someone’s truck radio nearby, the… Read more

  • Marty’s Quikmart Episode 3

    Declarations, Complaints, and Declined Cards    Wednesday evenings at Marty’s Quickmart fall into a predictable lull around 8 PM. The after-work rush has died down, and the late-night energy drink crowd hasn’t arrived yet. I’m restocking the cigarette display when Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” starts playing on the store radio, its gentle melody filling the… Read more

  • Marty’s Quikmart: Episode 2

      Behind the Counter: Saturday Night Specials Saturday nights at Marty’s Quickmart have their own unique rhythm. The parade of weekend partiers, desperate parents needing diapers, and late-night snack hunters creates a chaotic energy that makes my shift both exhausting and entertaining.   The radio plays Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On,” the smooth melody filling… Read more

  • Marty’s Quikmart: Episode 1

    Episode 1: The Tube Socks, the Pipe, and the Snickers Thief The late afternoon lull at Marty’s Quickmart always gives me a false sense of security. It’s that deceptive hour between the lunch rush and evening commuters when I think I might actually get to restock the shelves in peace. I should know better by… Read more