TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

humor

  • Chill n’Fill #54 (Book 2, Episode 22)

    Dad brought his teenage son to our store for a heart-to-heart about not following dangerous trends just because they’re popular. Kid went from sullen to actually listening when his father said “following trends is just peer pressure with better marketing.” Parenting level: expert 👨‍👦✨ Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #48 (Book 2, Episode 16)

    At Chill n’Fill, a late-night convenience store, the protagonist navigates various customer interactions, reflecting on human connections and societal dynamics. A pizza delivery driver theorizes the store as a microcosm of social behavior, while a grieving nursing home worker finds empathy amidst grief. The narrative illustrates moments of kindness, philosophical insights, and confrontations with entitlement. Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #47 (Book 2, Episode 13)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: Monuments, Creeps, and the Gray Hoodie    It was Saturday night at Chill n’Fill, and I’d just finished rearranging the candy display according to Bob’s latest merchandising theory. Chocolate bars now lived next to energy drinks in the “depression remedies” section, while sour candies had been relocated to “aggressive emotions” Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #49 (Book 2, Episode 15)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: The Seven Deadly Sins    Bob’s newest theory involved rearranging the entire store based on the seven deadly sins. Pride products near the entrance, Wrath energy drinks by the coffee machine, and Lust items… well, Bob’s interpretation of “Lust” apparently included chocolate and romance novels he’d bought from a garage Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #46 (Book 2, Episode 12)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: The Baby Lotion Theorists    It was Friday night at Chill n’Fill, and I was nearing the end of what Bob optimistically called my “probationary period” but what I recognized as “we can’t find anyone else willing to work these hours for minimum wage plus the occasional expired energy drink.” Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #96 P.Diddy’s Baby Lotions

          I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING IT OVER THIS BABY OIL COVERAGE!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I swear my NEWS FEED has been HIJACKED by MORE MOISTURIZER ARTICLES THAN THERE ARE POTHOLES ON HIGHWAY 31!!!   I just wanted to read about P. DIDDY’S CASE!!! THE ACTUAL CHARGES!!! SEX TRAFFICKING, RACKETEERING CONSPIRACY, AND SERIOUS CRIMINAL Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #40 (Book 2, Episode 6)

    The Writer, The Aggravator, and The False Prophet    It was Thursday night at Chill n’Fill, and I’d just finished rearranging the energy drink display into a color gradient that would make a rainbow jealous. Bob had insisted this would “maximize the chromatic purchasing energy” of our customers, whatever that meant. At least it gave Read more

  • Cold to Hot

    How do you feel about cold weather? Having grown up in northern Michigan, I once embraced winter’s freezing temperatures from -17 to 5 degrees. My childhood was filled with snowmobiles, ice fishing, and building snowmen and snow forts. But after moving to Alabama in 1996, I experienced the opposite climate – summers that nearly “melted Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #44 (Book 2, Episode 10)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: Signs, Romance, and the Color Blue    It was Friday night at Chill n’Fill, and I’d just finished arranging the energy drinks into an elaborate pyramid that Bob insisted would “enhance their caffeinated aura.” The fluorescent lights hummed overhead, occasionally flickering in a way that made me wonder if our Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #43 (Book 2, Episode 9)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: The Culture Warrior, The Evangelical, and The Activist    So, Jennifer called in sick for the sixth time this month—”food poisoning” according to her text, though her TikTok suggests she’s at a political rally downtown. Whatever. More hours for me, Karlee, professional chaos coordinator and now apparently the unwitting referee Read more