humor
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The Night of the Silent Breakdown, the Snack Commander, and the Law-Defying Fisherman It was Wednesday night at Chill n’Fill, and I was halfway through my shift when the fluorescent lights flickered in that particular way that always gave me a migraine by midnight. Jennifer had called in “sick” again, this time claiming she’d Read more
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OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!! First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m Read more
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Chill n’Fill Chronicles: The Night of the Little Car Thief, The Local Ranting Man & Officers Looking My Friday night shift at Chill n’Fill was officially entering the twilight zone. The one-eyed polar bear sign outside flickered rhythmically, as if winking at the parade of weirdness that was about to unfold. Bob’s “rebranding” of Read more
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WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? 🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!! Has anyone else noticed Read more
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WHY ARE THESE SELF-PROCLAIMED “HUSTLERS” SPENDING MORE TIME CREATING INSPIRATIONAL INSTAGRAM GRAPHICS THAN ACTUALLY MAKING ANY MONEY?!?!? 💸💸💸 Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE ENTREPRENEURIAL MELTDOWN over these KEYBOARD MOGULS who talk about “GRINDING” and “HUSTLING” while their only actual business is SELLING THE DREAM OF HUSTLING!!! Has anyone else Read more
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WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TYPING LIKE THEIR KEYBOARD IS HAVING AN ACTUAL SEIZURE?!?!? 👆👆👆 Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over these ALPHABET ASSASSINS who communicate like they’re being CHARGED BY THE LETTER or writing with their ELBOWS!!! Have y’all noticed how some people text like they’re ACTIVELY RUNNING Read more
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Spilled Coffee, Supernatural Seekers, and Late-Night Confessions My Friday night shift at Chill n’Fill was off to a promising start. The one-eyed polar bear sign flickered less tonight—Bob had finally convinced the electrician to return and fix the wiring after three rescheduled appointments. The bear’s eyepatch now glowed a vibrant purple instead of its Read more
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Dead City Nights, Reclaimed Labels, and Peeking Through Jennifer called in sick again—this time claiming her “clock had a broken gear” which might have been vaguely plausible in 1875 but seems highly suspect in our digital age. I’m starting to think she has a secret life as an international spy, given her increasingly creative Read more
TumbleDweeeb 