TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

life

  • Chris Henson Rants: #10 Marty’s Quikmart Chill n’Fill

          OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!!   First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill: Episode #38 (Book 2, Episode 4)

    Chill n’Fill Chronicles: The Night of the Little Car Thief, The Local Ranting Man & Officers Looking    My Friday night shift at Chill n’Fill was officially entering the twilight zone. The one-eyed polar bear sign outside flickered rhythmically, as if winking at the parade of weirdness that was about to unfold. Bob’s “rebranding” of… Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #63 ‘I Don’t Know’

          WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!!   Has anyone else noticed… Read more

  • The Trans Am (1982)

         I was five years old when I learned how to start a car. Not just any car… a 1980 Trans Am, dark purple, with T-tops that offered glimpses of Arkansas sky and an exhaust system that announced our arrival half a mile before we appeared. That Phoenix emblazoned across the hood might as… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill Episode 19

    The Card Hunter, The Minister, and The Modern Shaggy    Jennifer called in sick AGAIN. This marks the seventh time this month, which I’m pretty sure qualifies her for some kind of absenteeism world record. Today’s excuse was “car troubles,” which is both entirely plausible and completely suspect given that she used the same excuse… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill Episode 16

    Bob’s Announcements, Abandonment, and Audacity Tuesday night at Chill n’Fill began with a minor apocalypse in the dairy section. The aged refrigeration unit—which Bob had repeatedly promised to replace “next fiscal quarter” for the past seven fiscal quarters—finally gave up its mechanical ghost with a death rattle that sounded suspiciously like Kenny Rogers’ “Know When… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill Episode 11

    Static Shocks, Strange Frequencies, and Whispered Confessions    Wednesday night at Chill & Fill started with a commotion. Bob had decided the store’s ancient radio system needed “upgrading,” which apparently meant dismantling it with a screwdriver while it was still plugged in. The one-eyed polar bear mascot… now sporting not only its sailor hat and… Read more