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Emmitt Owens

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  • Parenting 101

    Parenting 101A Stream of Conscience, Comedic, Multisyllable RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01012026) IntroAlright—hold up…Sound check crackling like my last relationship.Fair warning upfront: This gets weird if you’re sober or expecting common sense. Verse 1I’m infectious with sentences, diction got pestilence,If you clap back, pack proof and some penicillin in.I overcook metaphors, choke jokes twice,Trip over punchlines,… Read more

  • A Darkly Humorous Piece About: Opting Out of Relationships – Episode 5

    The Opt-OutEpisode 5By: Emmitt Owens (Index #12292026) “Tolerance for not knowing is the quiet skill modern relationships no longer teach. It’s the ability to sit inside uncertainty without immediately labeling it, fixing it, or defending against it. It’s trusting that meaning can emerge over time instead of demanding clarity on demand. Relationships don’t unfold through certainty—they… Read more

  • The Bug, I Didn’t Remove

    The Bug I Didn’t RemoveA Whimsy-Whirly, Topsy-Turvy, Tale of Delightful NonsenseBy: Emmitt Owens In two-thousand-seventeen, so the story goes,Everyone was keeping score with their…fingers and toes! Of a game nobody wanted, a game with no rules—I said, “I won’t play!” and they thought “he’s a fool”. Ten years before that (or was it eleven?)I found… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill: Book 3, Episode 4

    Chill n’FillBook 3: Episode 4Dating Disasters and Hard-Won WisdomWritten by: Emmitt Owens(Index #07222025)    Friday night at the Chill n’Fill buzzed with the usual weekend split—half the crowd revved up for adventure, the other half limping in like survivors of labor forced workweek. I was halfway through cramming neon cans of energy drinks into the… Read more

  • The Signal in the Static

    The Signal in the StaticBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #09122025) Oh, look what crawled through the ethernet cables today—your little transmission—blinking at me like a confused lighthouse that’s forgotten which way the shore is supposed to be. And here I am, cosmic radio operator extraordinaire, having to tune into your particular brand of “scrambled frequency” because apparently… Read more

  • Chill’n’Fill: Book 3, Episode 3

    This story said ‘what if we made a convenience store clerk into the most emotionally intelligent person in town’ and honestly? A Revolutionary dating strategy 💯 Read more

  • Chill’n’Fill – Book 3: Episode 2

    Chill’n’FillBook 3: Episode 2Presence, Worth, and the Heart of SuccessWritten by: Emmitt Owens    Tuesday night at Chill n’Fill was settling into its familiar rhythm when I looked up from restocking the candy display to see our one-eyed polar bear mascot in its latest incarnation. Bob had outdone himself this time—the bear now sported what… Read more

  • Rules for Real Romance

    The Intentional Courtship Method No More Games: Rules for Real Romance “Love isn’t an app swipe or a spark. It’s a home you build together, one room at a time.” TL;DR: If you want real love, not temporary thrills—read this. I’m playing the long game. Short Version: I practice intentional courtship – building love like… Read more

  • The Art of Friendship-First Romance

    This was a word prompt from a week ago… posting today thinking that I had posted it long ago. The modern dating landscape often feels like a high-stakes audition where everyone performs their most polished version of themselves. Swipe right, craft the perfect text, plan elaborate first dates—all while desperately trying to determine if this… Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #63 (Book 2, Episode 33)

    Mad Mechanics and Midnight Revelations    Saturday night at Chill n’Fill was buzzing with an unusual energy, the kind that comes when change is stirring in a small town. Behind me, tonight’s painting had appeared as René Magritte’s “The Treachery of Images” from 1929—that famous pipe with “This is not a pipe” written beneath it,… Read more