TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

#PlizayaProductions

  • Chill n’Fill #44 (Book 2, Episode 10)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: Signs, Romance, and the Color Blue    It was Friday night at Chill n’Fill, and I’d just finished arranging the energy drinks into an elaborate pyramid that Bob insisted would “enhance their caffeinated aura.” The fluorescent lights hummed overhead, occasionally flickering in a way that made me wonder if our Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #43 (Book 2, Episode 9)

    Another Night at Chill n’Fill: The Culture Warrior, The Evangelical, and The Activist    So, Jennifer called in sick for the sixth time this month—”food poisoning” according to her text, though her TikTok suggests she’s at a political rally downtown. Whatever. More hours for me, Karlee, professional chaos coordinator and now apparently the unwitting referee Read more

  • Chill n’Fill #41 (Book 2, Episode 7)

    The Night of the Silent Breakdown, the Snack Commander, and the Law-Defying Fisherman    It was Wednesday night at Chill n’Fill, and I was halfway through my shift when the fluorescent lights flickered in that particular way that always gave me a migraine by midnight. Jennifer had called in “sick” again, this time claiming she’d Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #10 Marty’s Quikmart Chill n’Fill

          OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!!   First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #63 ‘I Don’t Know’

          WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!!   Has anyone else noticed Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #44 Hustlers

          WHY ARE THESE SELF-PROCLAIMED “HUSTLERS” SPENDING MORE TIME CREATING INSPIRATIONAL INSTAGRAM GRAPHICS THAN ACTUALLY MAKING ANY MONEY?!?!? 💸💸💸 Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE ENTREPRENEURIAL MELTDOWN over these KEYBOARD MOGULS who talk about “GRINDING” and “HUSTLING” while their only actual business is SELLING THE DREAM OF HUSTLING!!!   Has anyone else Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #35 Poor Grammer

          WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TYPING LIKE THEIR KEYBOARD IS HAVING AN ACTUAL SEIZURE?!?!? 👆👆👆 Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over these ALPHABET ASSASSINS who communicate like they’re being CHARGED BY THE LETTER or writing with their ELBOWS!!!   Have y’all noticed how some people text like they’re ACTIVELY RUNNING Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #28 Content Creators

       WHY ARE THERE SUDDENLY MORE “CONTENT CREATORS” THAN ACTUAL CONTENT ON THE INTERNET?!?!? 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over this EPIDEMIC of SELF-PROCLAIMED “CREATORS” who somehow create NOTHING but NOISE and ALGORITHMS, SHARE CONTENT THAT THEY DID NOT CREATE and CALL THEMSELVES CREATORS!!!   Let me paint you a Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #14 Pop-Up Ads

    Chris Henson Rants: #14 Pop-Up Ads (04/10/2025)    I AM GONNA LOSE MY FREAKING MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE POP-UP AD!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m about to THROW MY LAPTOP INTO THE SAME INTERSECTION WHERE I’M ALWAYS STUCK AT THAT BROKEN TRAFFIC LIGHT!!!     I just wanted to look up WEATHER!!! THE WEATHER!!! Read more

  • Chill n’Fill Episode 23

    Braggarts, Brains, and Betrayal    Thursday night at Chill & Fill greets me with its usual fluorescent embrace. The one-eyed polar bear sign watches over the parking lot, its neon wink a perpetual commentary on the human comedy below.   The radio plays Queens of the Stone Age’s “No One Knows” as I restock the cigarette Read more