TumbleDweeeb

Emmitt Owens

Sacred Texts

  • The Blunt Bible: The Forbidden Fruit (Genesis 3)

    They had paradise with one rule. A creature that could talk—but hadn’t learned to crawl yet—convinced them otherwise. Three beings present, zero accountability taken. God said ‘you’ll die.’ They lived 900 years. The serpent’s words came true literally. Genesis never calls it Satan. Maybe we’ve been reading this story wrong. 🐍🍎 Read more

  • The Blunt Bible: Creation & The Making of Adam (Genesis 1-2)

    “In the beginning, there was nothing. Just God. Then He said ‘Let there be light’—and there was light. No sun yet (that comes later, don’t think about it too hard). From dirt and divine breath came humanity. Everything was ‘very good’—no death, no pain, no shame. Just paradise, purpose, and one simple rule. 🌍✨” Read more