TumbleDweeeb

   OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! 😤😤😤 Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!!
   First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m having a stroke!!! And their mascot – OH MY GOD THEIR MASCOT!!! It’s this giant fiberglass bear that WINKS!!! But not a cute wink – it’s like the bear KNOWS something!!! Something TERRIBLE!!! It’s been winking at me for THREE WEEKS and I still don’t know what it knows!!!
  But that’s not even the worst part!!! The owner, Bob, keeps dressing this bear up in different outfits!!! Last week it was wearing a TUTU and a COWBOY HAT!!! The week before that? A HAWAIIAN SHIRT AND SNORKEL GEAR!!! WHO PUTS SNORKEL GEAR ON A BEAR IN NORTH ALABAMA???
   Yesterday I pulled in and the bear was wearing a WEDDING DRESS!!! A WEDDING DRESS!!! With a veil and everything!!! I almost crashed into the pump!!! Rex was in the car and even HE started barking at it!!! MY DOG IS TRAUMATIZED BY A FASHION-FORWARD BEAR!!!
   And don’t even get me STARTED on the cashiers!!! Jennifer (NOT the happy one from HR, this is a DIFFERENT Jennifer) acts like she’s doing you a personal favor by taking your money!!! She sighs EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. you ask for a receipt!!! “You need a receipt for that?” YES JENNIFER, I NEED A RECEIPT!!! IT’S CALLED BEING RESPONSIBLE!!!
   Then there’s Karlee with two E’s!!! She ALWAYS tells you it’s spelled with two E’s!!! EVERY TIME!!! “That’s Karlee with two E’s!” I DON’T CARE KARLEE!!! I’M NOT WRITING YOU A LETTER!!! I’M BUYING GAS!!!
   Karlee also insists on commenting on EVERYTHING you buy!!! “Oh, Red Bull and beef jerky? Someone’s having a party!” NO KARLEE, I’M HAVING A BREAKDOWN!!! “Lottery tickets again? Feeling lucky?” NO KARLEE, I’M FEELING DESPERATE!!!
   The first time that I had seen the bear, it was dressed as SANTA!!! IN SEPTEMBER!!! Bob said he was “getting into the holiday spirit early.” IT’S SEPTEMBER BOB!!! And the bear’s wink combined with the Santa suit made it look like it was plotting to steal Christmas!!!
   The absolute WORST was when I was having a terrible day (Rex had been barking all night, got stuck at THREE broken traffic lights) and I pull in to get gas. The bear is dressed as a THERAPIST!!! Complete with glasses and a notepad!!! And it’s WINKING at me like it UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN!!! I DON’T NEED THERAPY FROM A BEAR, BOB!!!
   Jennifer always acts personally offended when you pay with a card!!! “Oh, card again?” YES JENNIFER, IT’S 2025!!! She treats the card machine like it’s some kind of dark magic she doesn’t trust!!! Then she hands you the receipt like she’s doing you the world’s biggest favor!!!
   And Karlee memorizes everyone’s usual orders but gets them SLIGHTLY wrong every time!!! “The usual? Pack of gum and a coffee?” NO KARLEE, I DON’T CHEW GUM!!! I’VE NEVER BOUGHT GUM!!! But she says it EVERY TIME like she’s showing off her memory skills!!!
   The bear’s outfits are getting more elaborate!!! Last week it had a three-piece suit with a BRIEFCASE!!! A BRIEFCASE!!! What business does a winking bear have to conduct??? And why does it still look like it knows my darkest secrets???
   I’ve started having dreams about that bear!!! It’s always winking and wearing different outfits!!! Last night I dreamed it was dressed as a traffic cop and wouldn’t let me pass until I confessed my sins!!! I WOKE UP APOLOGIZING TO A BEAR!!!

UPDATE: Just drove by. The bear is now wearing a JUDGE’S ROBE AND POWDERED WIG!!! I feel like I’m being sentenced every time I get gas!!!

UPDATE 2: Karlee just asked if I wanted to join their “Chill n’ Fill Rewards Program.” I’ve been going there everyday for the past three weeks. She asks EVERY TIME.

UPDATE 3: Jennifer sighed so hard when I asked for a receipt that papers flew off the counter. The bear seemed to wink harder in solidarity with her suffering.

#ChrisHensonVsChillNFill #WinkingBearNightmare #JenniferStopSighing #KarleeTwoEs #BobStopDressingTheBear #GasStationHorror #WhatDoesItKnow #TraumatizedByMascot #ReceiptRage #BearTherapyNotNeeded

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