TumbleDweeeb

   I’m good at building walls that look like boundaries but feel like fortresses 🙂… Not the kind that protect my energy and time, but… the kind that keeps everyone at arm’s length, even the people who’ve earned the right to know me better.
    I’ve construct these barriers so carefully that most people don’t even realize they’re there. I’ll share stories… I’ll laugh at jokes… I’ll ask about your day… I’ll remember what matters to you, but somehow the conversation never quite turns inward. I’ve perfected the art of being present without vulnerability, without caring to let anyone see how much their opinion of me … matters.
   It started as self-preservation, from old wounds & disappointments that taught me it was safer to keep myself hidden. Over time… these walls have become automatic. I put them up before I even assess whether they’re needed, like wearing a coat in July just because it’s hanging by the door.
   The strange thing is how it feels inside these walls, even when I’m surrounded by people who genuinely care about me. They’re right there, wanting to know me, trying to know me, wanting to help me carry whatever I’m carrying, but I’ve gotten so good at deflecting and redirecting that even I sometimes forget what I’m protecting…
   I’m good at making others feel heard while keeping my own voice quiet about the things that really matter. Good at being the strong one, the reliable one, the one who has it all together… because admitting otherwise feels like giving someone ammunition they could use to hurt me later.
   But maybe the real skill isn’t in building these walls… Maybe it’s learning when it’s safe to let them down, brick by brick, for the people who’ve proven they’ll handle me with care.