TumbleDweeeb

   Early spring 2010. My future second wife was visiting for the weekend, and I wanted to show her how cooking together could be one of the best parts of building a relationship. There’s something about working in the kitchen as a team – the communication, the timing, the way you handle little problems together – that reveals so much about how compatible you really are.
   Friday night, we decided on grilled steaks. She was inside handling the sides – baked potatoes, garden salad, Texas toast – while I prepped the grill outside with charcoal, hickory and apple wood shavings. I marinated and seasoned both steaks the same way, except mine got an extra jalapeño mix because I could handle the heat.
   When we sat down to eat, she looked at both plates and grabbed mine. “I’m hungry,” she said, “I want the bigger one.” I should have stopped her right there, but I figured I’d mentioned the jalapeño seasoning and she’d heard me.Second bite, she started sweating. Third bite, she was really glowing but trying to play it cool. Fourth bite, she was practically dripping but still attempting to tough it out – probably thinking this was some kind of relationship test. Finally, we traded steaks back and she made me promise to be more specific about my “specially prepared” food next time.
   It wasn’t exactly a kitchen disaster, but it was definitely an epic fail in communication. Here I was trying to create this perfect cooking-together moment, and instead I nearly sent her to the emergency room with my jalapeño-heavy seasoning. The memory still makes me laugh – her determination to be the girlfriend who could handle anything, while literally sweating through what should have been a romantic dinner.