TumbleDweeeb

Flossin’ (With Welding Wire)
A Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness Rhyme
By:Emmitt Owens
(Index #01032026)

[Verse 1]
In the age of alarm clocks, I missed the cue
Hit snooze on myself, let the weird come through
Static in my bloodstream, dial-up soul
Tryna download peace on a cracked flip phone

Pajama-pants swagger, Jordans feel new
Slingin’ spaghetti out the window of my confused Subaru
It’s a Saturn I drive—yeah, the engine still rings
Arguin’ with the GPS like it knows anything

Had the headlice, scratchin’ my skull
Brain on shuffle, volume stuck on forty-four
FM chaos with the channel on dread
I got couches for feelings and a loveseat bed

Someone said, “Man, you worry too loud”
I said, “That’s the echo double-dutchin’ around”
Don’t trust every thought that believes in relief
One minute you’re cool, next minute—delete

[Chorus]
Fighting my demons, hands in the air
Shadowbox champion, nobody there
—now who looks crazy?

[Verse 2]
Evil got bored, forgot what it was for
Nightmares selling dread out the back of a Ford
One wears a halo made of bubble gum thread
Another rides a unicycle, stuck in my head

Hellhounds in my kitchen kickin’ tangos at random
Invisible instigators whisperin’ static
in a snub nose van, and
No-see-ums tap-dancin’ on my last live nerve
I swung at the void, knocked a tooth loose

Late-night guilt on a clearance TV
Bonus footage of almost me
I tied my nerve to a cheap shoelace
It winked, let go, changed pace
pulled her pants up and
Spit in my face

Demons came dressed like bad ideas
Lampshades low, blockin’ mirrors and ears
You don’t get peace till you wreck it on purpose
I traded dread for confetti—it surfaced

[Chorus]
Fighting my demons, hands in the air
Shadowbox champion, nobody there
—now who looks crazy?
—missed by a mile, baby
Fighting ghosts in my boxers with a smile

[Bridge]
Backwards confidence, upside-down glee
Mirror said “relax,” I said “you don’t know me”
I’m not cured, I’m a walkin’ side-show circuit
But things feel lighter when the chaos got purpose

Spirits file forms in a fluorescent haze
Roller-skate clerks doin’ figure-eights
Clipboard goblins click-clack fate
Stampin’ my worries “pending / late”

One says “doom,” one says “take a nap”
German chocolate cake in a velvet trap
I split the difference, ditched the map
Did the Humpty Dance straight through the gap

[Verse 3]
Saw a rock show in my kitchen sink
The spoons were the band, the fork fuckin’ sang
Hellhounds caroling at my bedroom door
I let ’em in—they ate the armoire

Burnt fish prophecies delivered by owl
Horoscope said “chaos, but make it now”
My future sent a blow-up doll like “you’ll be fine”
Michael J. Fox in the Land of Time

Saved all my doubts in a snow globe jar
Shook it up daily, made wishes on stars
If it breaks? That’s wishes hatchin’ with glitter
If it doesn’t? It’s incubatin’ winter

Big fucking buzzards waltzing on invisible clouds
I’m doing the sprinkler in circles and rounds
And every step gets a flicker of light
Every move gets quicker and bright
Like maybe the trick was the ticket all night

[Chorus]
Fighting my demons, hands in the air
Swingin’ at spirits, nobody there
—still look crazy
—still miss wildly
Still fightin’ ghosts in my boxers, unbothered, smilin’

Yeah, my YouTube’s got like three views, dude
That’s fine—I’m plantin’ seeds in my garden
Dirt don’t clap, it just listens

I’m flossin’ with weldin’ wire
Overkill for soft smiles and quick numbers
Still swingin’ anyway

If it grows, it grows
If it don’t, I danced through it
Still here, still weird, still waterin’ the ground