TumbleDweeeb

“Exhale”
Part III of a three-part fictional character study examining miscommunication, intrusive thought, and self-reflection.
The Truth Behind The Ink
By: Emmitt Owens 
(Index #01042026)

[Verse 1]
You know, I didn’t write “SEEN” ’cause I lived it—that ain’t me,
I wrote it ’cause I witnessed what unchecked pain can be,
Dudes who turn rejection into Reddit threads and spite,
So I sketched that voice to show myself what’s wrong, what’s right,
Gave it bars, gave it scars, multisyllabic schemes—
That character’s a cautionary tale, not the version of me.

See, my life’s different—I’m up at 2 AM by choice,
Not ’cause I’m refreshing stories, just creating, finding voice,
My daughter’s fourteen, got everything she needs from me,
Roof over her head, food in the fridge, stability,
I work my ten-hour shift, I handle every bill on time,
We’re good, we’re straight, we’re stable—so what’s the real line?

[Chorus]
I suggested lunch, she thought I wanted something more,
I wasn’t mad, I just moved on—but what am I moving for?
Am I protecting my peace or am I building walls so tall
That even if the right one knocked, I wouldn’t hear the call?
I write “SEEN” to show the spiral, show the toxic route,
But am I so scared of spiraling that I just opted out?

[Verse 2]
I’m not out here chasing women who curved me for a text,
I let “Red Flags, Red Lights” go ’cause I got what’s next—
My kid, my work, my routine that I built brick by brick,
But here’s the question that I’m wrestling with: am I slick…
At avoiding love, or am I opting out the game?
Am I running from connection or just running in my lane?

‘Cause truth is, I got everything I need right now, no lack,
Bills paid, daughter fed, content created—I’m on track,
But when someone shows interest, I’m already calculating cost,
Not financial—emotional—like I’ve already lost…
Before I even started, so I don’t even begin,
Is that wisdom or is that just me scared of letting someone in?

[Chorus]
I suggested lunch, she thought I wanted something more,
I wasn’t mad, I just moved on—but what am I moving for?
Am I protecting my peace or am I building walls so tall
That even if the right one knocked, I wouldn’t hear the call?
I write “SEEN” to show the spiral, show the toxic route,
But am I so scared of spiraling that I just opted out?

[Verse 3]
I got my shit together—like legitimately, no flex,
My daughter don’t want for nothing, I’m not dodging calls or texts…
From bill collectors, I’m not struggling, I’m not barely getting by,
So when I say “no time for dating,” is that truth or is that a lie…
I’m telling myself? ‘Cause I make time for what I want,
I’m up at 2 AM creating—so what’s the fucking front?

Am I waiting for perfection? For someone who fits just right
Into my established rhythm without disrupting any night,
Any morning, any routine that I got locked in place?
Or am I just too comfortable being solo in this space…
I create?
Is “I’m good alone” the truth or just the shield
I’m holding up to make sure my heart don’t have to yield?

[Chorus]
I suggested lunch, she thought I wanted something more,
I wasn’t mad, I just moved on—but what am I moving for?
Am I protecting my peace or am I building walls so tall
That even if the right one knocked, I wouldn’t hear the call?
I write “SEEN” to show the spiral, show the toxic route,
But am I so scared of spiraling that I just opted out?

[Bridge]
My routine, my discipline, my structure, my control—
Is protection from the chaos or a self-constructed hole…

Of playing it so safe that nothing’s risked and nothing’s lost?

[Outro]
Look, my daughter’s got everything she needs.
I’m not struggling.
I’m not bitter.
I’m not the dude in “SEEN” burning down Trader Joe’s in his head.

But I’m asking myself: Am I good being alone because I’m genuinely content?
Or am I just scared?

Scared that if I let someone in, they’ll disrupt everything.
Scared that I’ll lose the control I fought so hard to build.
Scared that wanting someone means needing someone.
And I can’t afford to need anything I don’t already have.

So is that healthy boundaries?
Or is that just giving up on connection and calling it peace?

I don’t know yet.

But at least I’m asking.
That’s more than the dude in “SEEN” ever did.

(silence)