EmmittOwens

  • Another Night at Chill n’Fill: The Culture Warrior, The Evangelical, and The Activist    So, Jennifer called in sick for the sixth time this monthโ€””food poisoning” according to her text, though her TikTok suggests she’s at a political rally downtown. Whatever. More hours for me, Karlee, professional chaos coordinator and now apparently the unwitting referee… Read more

  • How do you balance work and home life? Balancing home and work life requires careful attention to boundaries and routines. After long shifts surrounded by the sounds of industrial saws and the earthy scent of cut lumber, I create deliberate transitions between worlds, A shower and a change of clothes immediately upon returning home and… Read more

  • What sacrifices have you made in life? ๐Ÿค” …I’ve never been comfortable with calling my decisions “sacrifices.” That word always felt too heavy, too martyred for what I’ve done in my life.ย ย   When I chose to move or change jobs and all the other decisions I’ve ever made, I wasn’t sacrificing something else… I was… Read more

  • The Night of the Silent Breakdown, the Snack Commander, and the Law-Defying Fisherman  ย  It was Wednesday night at Chill n’Fill, and I was halfway through my shift when the fluorescent lights flickered in that particular way that always gave me a migraine by midnight. Jennifer had called in “sick” again, this time claiming she’d… Read more

  • ย ย     OKAY WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS GAS STATION CALLED CHILL N’ FILL AND THEIR DEMONIC WINKING BEAR MASCOT!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค Chris Henson here, and I’m LOSING MY MIND over this establishment!!!ย ย  First of all, what kind of name is “CHILL N’ FILL”??? Every time I say it, I feel like I’m… Read more

  •    ย ย  WHY DO PEOPLE ACT LIKE ANSWERING “I DON’T KNOW” IS A PERSONAL FAILING EQUIVALENT TO ADMITTING YOU KICK PUPPIES IN YOUR SPARE TIME?!?!? ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE EPISTEMOLOGICAL MELTDOWN over society’s BIZARRE AVERSION to the most HONEST THREE WORDS in the English language!!!ย ย  Has anyone else noticed… Read more

  •    ย ย  WHY ARE THESE SELF-PROCLAIMED “HUSTLERS” SPENDING MORE TIME CREATING INSPIRATIONAL INSTAGRAM GRAPHICS THAN ACTUALLY MAKING ANY MONEY?!?!? ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ Chris Henson here, and I am having a COMPLETE ENTREPRENEURIAL MELTDOWN over these KEYBOARD MOGULS who talk about “GRINDING” and “HUSTLING” while their only actual business is SELLING THE DREAM OF HUSTLING!!!ย ย  Has anyone else… Read more

  •    ย ย  WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL TYPING LIKE THEIR KEYBOARD IS HAVING AN ACTUAL SEIZURE?!?!? ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿ‘† Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over these ALPHABET ASSASSINS who communicate like they’re being CHARGED BY THE LETTER or writing with their ELBOWS!!!ย ย  Have y’all noticed how some people text like they’re ACTIVELY RUNNING… Read more

  • ย ย  WHY ARE THERE SUDDENLY MORE “CONTENT CREATORS” THAN ACTUAL CONTENT ON THE INTERNET?!?!? ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค Chris Henson here, and I am ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND over this EPIDEMIC of SELF-PROCLAIMED “CREATORS” who somehow create NOTHING but NOISE and ALGORITHMS, SHARE CONTENT THAT THEY DID NOT CREATE and CALL THEMSELVES CREATORS!!!ย ย  Let me paint you a… Read more

  • Chris Henson Rants: #14 Pop-Up Ads (04/10/2025)    I AM GONNA LOSE MY FREAKING MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE POP-UP AD!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค Chris Henson here, and I’m about to THROW MY LAPTOP INTO THE SAME INTERSECTION WHERE I’M ALWAYS STUCK AT THAT BROKEN TRAFFIC LIGHT!!!     I just wanted to look up WEATHER!!! THE WEATHER!!!… Read more