Comedy
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Mad Mechanics: The Gospel According to GreaseEpisode 14.3Written by: Emmitt OwensAs narrated by: Waylon(Index #05172026) Waylon, Intro: “Well now, folks, let me tell you about the Sunday morning when a man of the cloth learned that sometimes the best sermons aren’t preached from pulpits … they’re delivered with socket wrenches and cigarette smoke, by men… Read more
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MAD MECHANICS™Episode: Operation Sky BucketThe Great Buzzard Roost UFO IncidentWritten by: Emmitt OwensAs narrated by: Waylon Waylon’s intro: “Well now, folks, settle in for a tale about the night two stoned mechanics accidentally became Buzzard Roost’s first extraterrestrial crisis. This here story proves that the best ideas happen when common sense has clocked out and… Read more
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THE POSSUM BRANCH SERIESEpisode 4: The Great Buzzard Roost UFOBy: Emmitt Owens (Index #12122025) They say nothing good happens after midnight. They’ve clearly never sat in a plywood box at the end of Slaughter Pen Road listening to this town lose its mind in real time. It’s 1:11 AM and the tower outside sounds… Read more
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Chill n’FillEpisode: The Night the Sky Dropped DinnerWritten by: Emmitt Owens (Index #12102025) They say nothing good happens after midnight. I’ve always thought that was less a warning and more an observation about the kind of people who are still awake to witness it. It was 11:47 PM on a Wednesday that felt like… Read more
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“Jim and the Terrible Think-So Machine”(A whimsical caution, in a Seuss-ish scene) By: Emmitt Owens (Index #04062026) In a town not too far, not too loud, not too grim,Lived a Think-So Machine in the mind of young Jim.It whirred and it clicked, it assumed and it guessed,And it always told Jim that he knew what… Read more
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THE POSSUM BRANCH SERIESEpisode 1: PILOT: The Squirrel SiegeBy: Emmitt Owens (Index #12012025) They don’t train you in radio school for nights like these. Mostly because nobody goes to radio school anymore. You just show up, prove you can avoid dead air, and pray someone remembers to pay you. I’m broadcasting from a shed… Read more
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Most people would have let the first name slip go. I let it file itself away instead and three hours later, a birthday post, a friends list, and one last name she never mentioned cracked the whole thing open. Read more
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Low-Rent MajesticA Multisyllabic, Whimsy, Stream of Consciousness RhymeBy: Emmitt Owens(Index #01022026) [Hook]I don’t need approval, I need better decisions My conscience got evicted for unpaid supervision I wake up like “damn, still me?”—that’s persistence Every bad idea got my full cooperation No halo, no villain arc, just friction Too weird for the normies, too broken for tradition If this goes… Read more
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Tuesday in My BrainFor My Grandchildren: Silas, Elijah & Theo(Index # 09112025) In the town of the teapots I painted a shoe,With pickles for buttons and some glittery glue.I danced with a doorknob, I sang to a chair,I juggled three penguins while brushing my hair.Pull the moon backward and tie it with shoestrings,With a bubblegum… Read more
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The Broken Toenail Catastrophe*As told by Gary*By: Emmitt Owens(Index #08082025) Let me start by saying that what happened at Orange Beach last Tuesday was not my fault. Well, okay, it was technically my fault, but hear me out—any reasonable person would have made the same decisions I made, given the circumstances. The fact that… Read more
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